Pain

it hurts.
it’s like a star exploded in a pitch dark sky
and blinded my eyes
that were used to the darkness
that felt like an eternity.

even though I pushed away this relationship
because I felt it was the right thing to do
deep inside, I wanted it.
I wanted sorely.

how many more shots of pain can I endure?
how many more rejection of love will come?
will this all be worthwhile in the end?
will I be forgiven for what I have done?
will I ever be loved?

it’s a long dark night.

9.28.2023