J

Dear J, you said, “dust to dust; Life is not enough to live for the sake of survival.”

So, if you ask me: “What is it you really want?”

My mind goes back to when I truly felt alive as myself years and years ago.

I want to dance with you slowly, to see your smile that spreads grace in my heart, and to hear the bursts of laughter crashing into my ears and reverberating at the same frequency as I make light fun of myself while teasing you a little.

In a soft and warm embrace, we slowly woke up from a sound sleep wrapped in a fresh and fluffy linen duvet, and the sunlight hit our forehead through the window from a cold winter blue sky in the morning. I want to cherish it a little longer.

I want to carry the silence at the rainy beach, the autumn mountain, and in the middle of the desert, a pasture and an ice field as I carry on with the repetition of daily life amidst bustling individuals and the rapid choreography we have scheduled.

Have I changed? Yes — inevitably, and as cliche as it can be, I did. The reason why I am here is to keep in mind what matters. To keep the promise I made a long time ago before I further turned into something unintended.

The house, the car, the dog, the cat, the flowers, the songs, the sun window, the shower, the photos, the parties, the food, the vacations, the clothes, the gadgets, the artworks, and the books, yes, all of them too. But most of all, let’s find the groove first.

3.22.2025