come, stay and let's talk. it's a good day to be alive
I am speechless
out of exhaustion.
Squeezed every morsel of energy in my cell
distilled into this journey
mixed in question marks and shadows.
sometimes I fear it’s not what I imagined
when I bring it out of the oven
glazed at thousands of degrees of heat
but now is the only change
now is the only hope,
now is the testimony of past.
now, I just hope it comes out intact.
now, I just hope for its best.
now, I just hope for its safety.
10.10.2021
yes, my emotions is like color black,
worn off of cool blue, dreamy green,
energetic orange, outrageous red,
it bears the color black like wounds.
there are blind spots to color black
I forget some people don’t have black
when I touch them, it sizzles like
a white A4 paper touching leaflets of
stove fire
yes, it’s a self-pity
yes, I need to get over it already
yes, though I do apologize to you.
10.9.2021
I am paying for my lies.
when I scrape dried grain of rice
off of my bowel after finishing
yet another egg omelette,
when I tie down thin plastic lips
of white vinyl trash bags
holding my nose, dragging it down
the lonely hall way and notice
drops of trash juice stains on the floor,
I know I am in this world, not
in the world of self-importance,
high stake gamble, nor tearful drama.
so perhaps now I am paying for it.
my head is burning like an ember
unrequited of promises of comfort
slowed in a quagmire,
suspended in numbing silence,
questions unanswered in a painfully
freezing temperature.
ah. perhaps just a simple life could’ve sufficed. But no, I must charge forward.
10.8.2021
this electronic document is tinged with blood
I spilt, a product of attrition of my own flesh.
‘let the flesh be cut,
for split second of chance
to cut through the bone’
yes, I threw my dice
along with it, years of spice.
I flinch at thriller movies,
still I sit on this trajectory.
10.7.2021
in the desert, all you can hope is
that tomorrow, things will be different
but sizzling hot sand dunes,
dryness in air is constant
reminder of misery of this journey
but at night, when the darkness
arrived in its cold carpet,
and the only thing that shines
is the moon and the stars in sky,
it’ll remind you of warm blood in you.
10.6.2022
here you are again,
alone in this dark world
gazing up at those star dust
waiting the end to come.
from dust to dust
from the start, it’s been a good rush
some say candlelit’s brightest at the end
so this is the time to live.
from dust to dust we go
hey-ho, here we go.
10.5.2021
it ain’t over till it’s over
back’s against the wall,
clock’s running towards the end,
yet it ain’t over, innit?
life is suddenly so tangible
sticky in my hands,
against the iron sky it cries
waking up again into the fray
it ain’t over till it’s over
10.4.2021
As I move my lips to say
“please stay”
split cuts through my lips
dried from winter chills
calming my frisky heart
I muster a nerve to hold on
to this thread that I barely grasp
onto say “thanks”
yes, this is
the risk I will take.
도와줘서 고마워요, 당신
오늘도 좋은 저녁이 되길 바라요.
10.3.2021
why is it that
it is much endeavored
when it hurts
it is much neglected
when it is pleasing?
아마도 당신이
나에게는 어떤 의미가 있는게 아닐까
그저 아픈 내 몸을 바닥에 누이며
환한 달을 두 눈으로 처다보며
조심스레 속삭여 본다.
10.2.2021
this battle is a blessing in disguise
bones harden, knuckles ruffles
skin toughens, memory strengthens
scars transforms into a medal
honor often turn stale
once again into the fray
let’s roll the dice again
10.1.2021
Ralph with Coffee 
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