Strength

“to withstand things that I can’t”
may be a modern underrated life element
so much power we yield when we want
stop and wonder if all’s gone in a moment
what strength we have left
to withstand all that’s f’d
perhaps we run as fast as we can on bubbles
one day we’ll find gone are all troubles
who knows what future brings
but withstanding pain does sting

Listener

to be honest, I am not sure how it happened.
it is as though it was meant to be.
I sat, stared, and let what may be heard, heard
yet, conversations flowed.
felt, deeper feelings of warm glow
thanked, all those who shared a moment with me.
perhaps, if we run each moment with all we have,
we will at least be able to stand on this land
and know that we have done our best
and leave the rest for the rest.

1.7.2023

Parade

a far way friend talked to me on a screen
a long prepared project presented to a mentor
a scholar presented an eye opening talk
a talk with a genius in a restroom stall
a renewed talk made me a new friend
colleagues who weathered a long hour work
house chores conquered with a roommate
a talk on a bus with an old man who blesses
a bystander who rung the bell for you
a cashier, who’s bitter about your Covid mask
a European woman in a headscarf in a bus
two Hispanic workers asking for a hospital
friends’ text messages, recommending novels

we march on, as far as we could go.

Cigarettes – (10 min)

Prompt: two brothers on the last day in the country before flying abroad back home.

As teenagers, the most rebellious thing they could do in the country was to venture away from the securely fenced boundaries of home and school towards the beach. Two brothers, one year apart, walked towards an ice cream shop next to a beach. It was a night out.

Living in a foreign country, both spoke a very limited native language. Still, the oldest one managed to order two ice creams. He got a lemon sherbet, his brother, and mint chocolate.

They were on a roll. They had taken a yellow taxi to the beach by giving directions for each turn to the taxi driver with a broken French. Somehow, they managed to make it to the beach. Luck was on their side. Before sunset, they found the ice cream shop and decided to get some.

While the older one was adventurous and the younger one less so, both were feeling an adrenaline rush. It was their last night in the country before they moved away for good. The agonizing pain of isolation within home or school had been too much to bear for teenagers, who are beginning to learn about the world, and in turn, themselves. Books, internet videos, and photos did not offer a remedy but further stoked the pain of loneliness.

Now that all was over, they did not care whether it was dangerous to be outside among local natives who looked different from them. They were an easy target for any residents in the low-income neighborhood; people came to beg, to feed curiosity, or to steal.

Regardless, the brothers laughed out loud as hard as they could. Each with an ice cream in their hands, they walked in big strides towards the beach. The wind blew gently. It was May, and the air was warm, moist, and breezy. Staring at the sunset, it felt like good riddance.

The brothers continued to walk along the sand dune by the beach as the sunset, the sky, and the world started to cool into dusk.

As the older brother lit a cigarette, it brightened a little, and his face emerged from the dark shadow. Then the lighter fire went out, only leaving behind the red ember light of the cigarette butt. The younger one joined in, and they laughed and took a drag. So long! Goodbye! It’s over!

It was the last cigarette they puffed before heading back home. Their father and mother were busy making sure all the adult stuff was done before leaving the house. It was finally over. The long wait. The isolation. The boredom. They were finally over. Only freedom waited ahead.

Slowing down

there is a few people who have faith in me.
They believed my words,
generously offered their time,
and graciously shared their love.
Being with them gave me enough courage
I took off my blinders,
started to see the world as it is,
and continued extending their love to others.
even as the vast distance remains between us
even as we no longer see or hear each other
I feel their warmth glow in my heart
living as vividly as when we were together.
I am grateful for their generosity
and I wish them well.

1.4.2023