come, stay and let's talk. it's a good day to be alive
mind is in a blurry white mist
time passes slowly but a day goes by fast
as if a cold sandbag’s on my head and freezes
train of thoughts, perhaps it’s Tylenol that has
thankfully quenched the fire of white knots
perhaps it’s the lack of sleep from last night
I can’t tell; since I lost sense of smell
what feelings I had day-to-day
except for this salty mucus with hint of sadness
I suppose I should continue to work
for nothing else seems to give me relief
4.13.2022
some describe it white fire
others, hot knife
it’ll makes you alert for awhile
but try to dodge and not fight
soon it’ll make you cry
out of misery and inescapability
if you can, avoid prolonged exposure
it may take your sleep, your thoughts, and your will.
so don’t be stubborn
just get the Tylenol
4.12.2022
fuck, I want to see you now
one last time
I don’t know when we all will die
maybe there’s a better perfecter future
but I know I want to see you
yes, I know it must be your own choice
I won’t force it so I am waiting
but fuck, I want to see you now
one last time.
before the Spring goes.
4.11.2022
fascinating things continue to surprise me:
I cannot smell scents nor discern flavors
no more perfumes, fruits, and sweets,
perhaps to do with nervous system, I think
lower back and hip had been aching
left big toe had been tingling
back kidney pain had subsided
yet coughing and congestions persist
head feels like a balloon under water
I wonder what all these mean
fascinating things continue to surprise me
4.11.2022
it’s undeniable, pain in my back flanks
dark shadows around my eyes like blanket
no matter how much I drink this water tank
I sweat profusely, yet I won’t let go this jacket
coughing become vomiting, without anything
coming out except for gluey phlegm
my mind is a slightly drunken blueberry jam
so breathing has never been so manual
when will it arrive, the end eventual?
4.10.2022
morning starts early drenched in sweat
nostrils and mouth are dry filled with dust
swallowing saliva only pains the throat
occasional coughs; convulsion of abdomen
and chest, cannonballing white-yellow-green
sticky slimy pieces of phlegm into my palm
squeezing my head, pressuring my eyeballs
congestion in nose, forces breathing harder
sweat dripping down at seemingly OK temp
but it’s too cold to take off this light jacket
time feels constant yet passes too quickly
suspected cognitive confusion slightly
drank so much water, but I wouldn’t stop
tingling numbness at third, fourth finger tip
fascinating phenomena is happening
I wonder what tomorrow brings
4.9.2022
warm breeze of Spring air, thank you.
because of your gentle touch in the morning,
I remembered the times I was happy.
times that I had emotions,
times that my spirit was free
times that had I lived, instead of surviving.
I thought, one day, it would come back:
all the joys, glories, and innocence
yet now I stand on trial that could end it all.
No regrets, no matter what others say.
I’m grateful for the memories.
4.8.2022
finally, you’ve arrived!
I feared your shadows for so long
I am relieved to see you while I’m alive
our meeting will be remembered in songs
yes, I know you are meant to harm me
yet I am glad to meet you finally
now that I have been immunized against you
let me take a closer look at you
so that’s how you wrangle the head
tickle the throat with phlegm
it’s quite fascinating; what you’ve become
but make your leave when your time comes
4.7.2022
t’is the season for ailments
fraught with hope and wonder
t’is the season for lessons
taught with pain and suffer
remember yesterday’s mistakes
ponder upon what’s at stake
4.6.2022
I like your style
I like your idea
let me copy it; it’ll be worthwhile
I’ll let them know it was yours, prima donna
yes, our shadows may be alike,
yet who says we’ll strike
similarities of our qualities?
ephemeral beings such as us, serendipities?
rest assured, my dear comrade
the show won’t be too long for us, nomads
4.5.2022
Ralph with Coffee 
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