come, stay and let's talk. it's a good day to be alive
when you feel shades of life
slipping into roots of your spine
bringing slow, murky weight to your eyes
covering labels of black and white
when you feel the internal clock needle
pushing you to make a choice a little
too fast for your own good
drink a warm bowl of white clam chowder
a soulful companion, an unconditional lover,
your pupils will open to what was unknown
flooding your nerves with blessings enthrone
yes, it takes a white clam chowder to experience it. now go on!
10.16.2021
when the heart aches,
and it’s raining all over,
bright day’s long way to go,
smile.
smile, not only out of spite,
but from a goodwill too
it won’t last forever,
but nor will this pain be too.
10.15.2021
I wrote a text on my phone in my bedroom
I then walked out, climbed up stairs to the roof
and threw my phone as far as I can muster
hoping it will reach my designated audience
perhaps it took couple seconds. ah no.
actually couple hours, maybe couple days
till something hit me on my head (blind spot)
with the same phone but different message
something seem to ooze out
not from my head, but from my gut.
it’s a intoxicating feeling, heart’s pumping
but it ain’t all too bad. maybe a bit better than that.
I wrote a text on my phone,
walked up to the roof,
and threw my phone as hard as I can muster
hoping it reaches the person.
10.14.2021
like handling a crown made of snow flakes,
like catching a zooming dragonfly,
I dance with a tempo
one step slow, one step fast
parrying one side and lunge at the other
it’s a delicate fight,
a negotiated silent dance
we’ll parry all night.
10.13.2021
across a blindingly white field of snow
I set out to march through them slow
yet steady, heaving waves and rows
of snow, making a way to meet somehow
again
breath is rugged out of cold,
arms and legs are about to give out,
but my mind is clear as the glaring sun
beaming through all paving the way
10.12.2021
I am speechless
out of exhaustion.
Squeezed every morsel of energy in my cell
distilled into this journey
mixed in question marks and shadows.
sometimes I fear it’s not what I imagined
when I bring it out of the oven
glazed at thousands of degrees of heat
but now is the only change
now is the only hope,
now is the testimony of past.
now, I just hope it comes out intact.
now, I just hope for its best.
now, I just hope for its safety.
10.10.2021
yes, my emotions is like color black,
worn off of cool blue, dreamy green,
energetic orange, outrageous red,
it bears the color black like wounds.
there are blind spots to color black
I forget some people don’t have black
when I touch them, it sizzles like
a white A4 paper touching leaflets of
stove fire
yes, it’s a self-pity
yes, I need to get over it already
yes, though I do apologize to you.
10.9.2021
I am paying for my lies.
when I scrape dried grain of rice
off of my bowel after finishing
yet another egg omelette,
when I tie down thin plastic lips
of white vinyl trash bags
holding my nose, dragging it down
the lonely hall way and notice
drops of trash juice stains on the floor,
I know I am in this world, not
in the world of self-importance,
high stake gamble, nor tearful drama.
so perhaps now I am paying for it.
my head is burning like an ember
unrequited of promises of comfort
slowed in a quagmire,
suspended in numbing silence,
questions unanswered in a painfully
freezing temperature.
ah. perhaps just a simple life could’ve sufficed. But no, I must charge forward.
10.8.2021
this electronic document is tinged with blood
I spilt, a product of attrition of my own flesh.
‘let the flesh be cut,
for split second of chance
to cut through the bone’
yes, I threw my dice
along with it, years of spice.
I flinch at thriller movies,
still I sit on this trajectory.
10.7.2021
in the desert, all you can hope is
that tomorrow, things will be different
but sizzling hot sand dunes,
dryness in air is constant
reminder of misery of this journey
but at night, when the darkness
arrived in its cold carpet,
and the only thing that shines
is the moon and the stars in sky,
it’ll remind you of warm blood in you.
10.6.2022
Ralph with Coffee 
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