Soul

when you feel shades of life
slipping into roots of your spine
bringing slow, murky weight to your eyes
covering labels of black and white

when you feel the internal clock needle
pushing you to make a choice a little
too fast for your own good

drink a warm bowl of white clam chowder
a soulful companion, an unconditional lover,
your pupils will open to what was unknown
flooding your nerves with blessings enthrone

yes, it takes a white clam chowder to experience it. now go on!

10.16.2021

Text

I wrote a text on my phone in my bedroom
I then walked out, climbed up stairs to the roof
and threw my phone as far as I can muster
hoping it will reach my designated audience

perhaps it took couple seconds. ah no.
actually couple hours, maybe couple days
till something hit me on my head (blind spot)
with the same phone but different message

something seem to ooze out
not from my head, but from my gut.
it’s a intoxicating feeling, heart’s pumping
but it ain’t all too bad. maybe a bit better than that.

I wrote a text on my phone,
walked up to the roof,
and threw my phone as hard as I can muster
hoping it reaches the person.

10.14.2021

Ailment

I am speechless
out of exhaustion.

Squeezed every morsel of energy in my cell
distilled into this journey
mixed in question marks and shadows.

sometimes I fear it’s not what I imagined
when I bring it out of the oven
glazed at thousands of degrees of heat

but now is the only change
now is the only hope,
now is the testimony of past.

now, I just hope it comes out intact.
now, I just hope for its best.
now, I just hope for its safety.

10.10.2021

Apology

yes, my emotions is like color black,
worn off of cool blue, dreamy green,
energetic orange, outrageous red,
it bears the color black like wounds.

there are blind spots to color black
I forget some people don’t have black
when I touch them, it sizzles like
a white A4 paper touching leaflets of
stove fire

yes, it’s a self-pity
yes, I need to get over it already
yes, though I do apologize to you.

10.9.2021

Payment

I am paying for my lies.

when I scrape dried grain of rice
off of my bowel after finishing
yet another egg omelette,

when I tie down thin plastic lips
of white vinyl trash bags
holding my nose, dragging it down
the lonely hall way and notice
drops of trash juice stains on the floor,

I know I am in this world, not
in the world of self-importance,
high stake gamble, nor tearful drama.

so perhaps now I am paying for it.
my head is burning like an ember
unrequited of promises of comfort
slowed in a quagmire,
suspended in numbing silence,
questions unanswered in a painfully
freezing temperature.

ah. perhaps just a simple life could’ve sufficed. But no, I must charge forward.

10.8.2021