come, stay and let's talk. it's a good day to be alive
it feels like it’s been awhile
being like this, not pressed
to keep on doing something
for the sake of survival, for approval
perhaps this sickness is blessing in disguise
one I might have had to encounter to realize
a few hidden messages for myself
from my past self perhaps to remind myself
that there are choices in life to be made
fully appreciate the cards you have played
4.15.2022
I guess it was 15 years ago
I wanted to write a story
adolescent me was feverish with dreams
dreams of passion, adventure, and freedom
now that I think of it,
past 15 years had some of that
maybe, with a bit of luck, I lived my life like
how I wanted to write that story
I am grateful for it, truly
it hurt sometimes,
but it’s been really beautiful.
4.14.2022
some describe it white fire
others, hot knife
it’ll makes you alert for awhile
but try to dodge and not fight
soon it’ll make you cry
out of misery and inescapability
if you can, avoid prolonged exposure
it may take your sleep, your thoughts, and your will.
so don’t be stubborn
just get the Tylenol
4.12.2022
fascinating things continue to surprise me:
I cannot smell scents nor discern flavors
no more perfumes, fruits, and sweets,
perhaps to do with nervous system, I think
lower back and hip had been aching
left big toe had been tingling
back kidney pain had subsided
yet coughing and congestions persist
head feels like a balloon under water
I wonder what all these mean
fascinating things continue to surprise me
4.11.2022
finally, you’ve arrived!
I feared your shadows for so long
I am relieved to see you while I’m alive
our meeting will be remembered in songs
yes, I know you are meant to harm me
yet I am glad to meet you finally
now that I have been immunized against you
let me take a closer look at you
so that’s how you wrangle the head
tickle the throat with phlegm
it’s quite fascinating; what you’ve become
but make your leave when your time comes
4.7.2022
t’is the season for ailments
fraught with hope and wonder
t’is the season for lessons
taught with pain and suffer
remember yesterday’s mistakes
ponder upon what’s at stake
4.6.2022
a red hot jalapeño sauce I bought for a bet
i tried a drop smeared on a white plate
hm not bad
oh wait
oh shit what is happening
why won’t this stop, this painful burning
wait what if I dip a mozzarella cheese
oh no oh man it does not help does it
ss-hah-ss-hah it is hot and won’t stop
ah-ah ice-cream i want
ah-ah crème-brûlée dans le besoin
4.2.2022
if I said I had not thought about staying with you
I’d be lying
but I am here, standing against all the odds
away from you
leaving you in my memory
and walking away into the breaking dawn.
So, my dear twin size mattress,
know that I will be back
and be reunited with you tonight
4.2.2022
caffeine induced insomnia for four nights
woke up, realized now is to start to write
what I felt, what I believed in my heart
before the day gets long to see the star
over the head falls the rain
perhaps explains the pain
one that might not be understood
as those who were not heard would
cry, cry all you want
tomorrow, after the storm, it’ll be calm
3.31.2022
early morning, air’s freezing
sky over horizon, turns jean blue
birds are chirping, as I’m walking
through dark street, to library at cue
as music’s playing from AirPods into my ears
as I sing the song of dreams that are dear
3.30.2022
Ralph with Coffee 
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