come, stay and let's talk. it's a good day to be alive
Unexpectedly, a helping hand arrived.
we both had tired eyes,
silently listening to each other’s worries.
strangely, even all the words
trying to convince ‘all will be okay’,
which we knew were not a guarantee,
they sounded strangely, yet familiarly reassuring.
of course, a life is to be lived by oneself,
and not helped by the others.
yet to see another person
walking a similar, seemingly eternal path
gave me a confidence
that perhaps
I can do this too.
9.29.2023
it hurts.
it’s like a star exploded in a pitch dark sky
and blinded my eyes
that were used to the darkness
that felt like an eternity.
even though I pushed away this relationship
because I felt it was the right thing to do
deep inside, I wanted it.
I wanted sorely.
how many more shots of pain can I endure?
how many more rejection of love will come?
will this all be worthwhile in the end?
will I be forgiven for what I have done?
will I ever be loved?
it’s a long dark night.
9.28.2023
do I deserve to be loved?
I realized things have changed
and that I am not in mud any more.
but the memory of the dark water
lingers too close in my mind.
do I deserve to be loved?
can I ask to be loved?
can I be free to love?
to find out,
I’ll be a bit more honest,
I’ll work hard,
but not to earn the love,
but to protect those that I love.
9.27.2023
a leverage can get you quickly
to your destination.
But I want to steep in
like a sauna in a white cold winter
when the warmth reaches my bones
I can start to realize
there are not only stars in this wide sky
but also the silent constellations.
9.26.2023
keep feeling the waters,
sometimes you’ll sink
other times you will float.
dark water beneath
who knows how far they go.
you won’t know your remebedy
but it’s already been in my areas.
I hope you get to the certifcarion.
9.223/4
like an amoeba staring at a bird,
like a dog running after a car,
I chase after a beaten path.
yes, I know I am ashamed
and part of my drive to ignore this shame
moves me when I am the most tired.
a sun shined once, very briefly.
and I learned in that priceless moment
that you must choose to live for yourself.
and the rest of the world will follow.
9.24.2023
every day, I am hoping,
wishing for a miracle.
in the ocean of sand grains,
I yearn to become the one.
one that is picked up,
one who is loved,
one who knows the truth.
saved from calamities.
then I saw the sun.
ever-shining sun.
it was beautiful.
I am immersed in
its repetitive motions,
and all of its colors.
And so did a smile
on my lips
as I woke up again
in the morning.
9.23.2023
It’s the moment between two worlds:
a world naked to the sun that cleanses
a world enveloped in morphing darkness.
as if you opened your eyes halfway,
murky dusk seeps in from the shadows,
instilling nostalgia for the past in the present.
you can choose to stay awake and refuse,
or you can imbue yourself with this melody
for a brief moment to soak your soul
in harmony between the past and present.
9.22.2023
I don’t know why
but you’ve been in my mind
like a sweet blue sky
shining in my eyes
I am trying to keep my mind
from reaching that high
but like a cotton candy that fly
high into summer sky
my eyes open too wide
with your smile.
9.21.2023
let’s go long than short.
it’s a marathon than a sprint.
the sun will rise again
and we’ll forget all the pain
but the results will remain
and we’ll want to gain
something more than yesterday
a stepping stone for a better day.
pack your patient when you can
believe you’ll be there in the end.
9.20.2023
Ralph with Coffee 
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