come, stay and let's talk. it's a good day to be alive
once in awhile, I let myself walk in the rain
letting raindrops hit against my body
it’s liberating, somehow
like a tower of sand I built as a child
shells of some kind around body starts melting
as the raindrop seeps into my heart
I wonder what it is about the rain
that brings this gravitas
5.6.2022
it would almost always at dusk
on the beach, as the air gets colder
I’d finish building the castle
with wet muddy sand of the beach
yes, I wasn’t naive to believe
it would be there the next week I come
but the soft, malleable, and wet sand
is what I remember
and the smile that warmed my face
5.5.2022
it was a small, but a clean flat restaurant
with a picture of Venice port on the wall
I’d walk up to the counter and ask for
chicken shawarma
they’d ask if I wanted all
and indeed I wanted them all
fluffy fresh dough bread covered in sandy grains
even softer melted white mozzarella
on top of juicy chicken meat
laid around crispy and watery vegetables
that mixed and mingled into a harmony
I remember the shawarma
I ate with a can of Red Bull
after a work out in an underground gym
5.3.2022
I almost died first time I rode ski
tired of baby blue diamond tracks
I jumped hoops into black diamond
perhaps my youthful pride veiled steepness
soon I’d learn alacrity turned despair
as speed picked up, and tears shed from eyes
because of speed or the fear I did not know
as others watched me forlornly
I realized this pair of ski were without mercy
it would not spare a chance to stop,
the luxury of all crawling things.
thankfully, I pocketed into a parking lot
with trembling hands, I pulled out
loose cigarettes (I was still smoking then)
and puffed a few white clouds of relief
which stopped the shaking of hands
and I returned to the baby blue diamonds
with a fairly good amount of relief
5.1.2022
I realized coffee was elusive
chic and smooth aroma tricks
coffeelovers to become blind
to chains of addiction and workaholism
I wondered what business coffee had
to come all the way here (from Africa?)
to be served in a petite ivory cup
pocketed like a little dark secret (America?)
I take a sip of the black liquid
as the sun rises again.
4.30.2022
I remember the ocean in my childhood
the sky filled with rumbling grey clouds
waves pushed me as if to reject me
waves brought so much water my feet couldn’t touch the sand
as if to tell me I need to grow up more
I cried a rebellious cry against the waves
against the ocean, against the sky above
promising that I will conquer it one day
4.29.2022
it was late at night in a quiet parking lot
near a hotel where friends cheered victories
Walking into the dark to cool my head a little
the coldness of night sobered my head
or rather soaked my head in a strange thing
I walked a tight yellow rope between
falling in a deathly cold pit of loneliness
or falling head over hills into the unknown
When I opened my eyes again
as gracious morning sun shown upon me
as piercing pain squeezed my head
I knew what I had to do.
I took the step into the unknown.
4.28.2022
it was under the hot scorching summer sun
I rowed my kayak through the middle of river
wide as suburban shopping mall
although I couldn’t tell whether it flowed
I rowed and rowed, belching out youthful songs
river kept revealing more and more of itself
until I reached the mouth of a city
and dragged out my kayak into concrete
I remember the river that gave itself to me
4.28.2022
it was the longest train ride I had in a decade
as I sat a bit awkwardly, with discomfort
into cushioned chair by the window
the train moved slowly, smoothly, like
butter on a hot pan, an ice-cream on asphalt
flying two hundred miles an hour
sceneries were a constant blur of images
unkempt green bushes, swamps, mountains
as if in a carrousel, the world spun so fast
I felt I finally found a refuge from it all
I remember the train and its otherworldly respite
4.26.2022
I walked through a dark empty silent road
as heavy snow fell from dark winter night sky
I remember the seething anger I bore
but not what I was angry for
too proud to make a scene, I walked in silence
hoping the road has long enough distance
to walk the talk in my head
listening to white snow crunching under the feet
4.25.2022
Ralph with Coffee 
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