come, stay and let's talk. it's a good day to be alive
I am running towards you, my dear
through dry and clear
sky of Sahara desert,
through blizzards
of Northeastern
I am fighting, debating,
crying, running,
trying to get to you
as soon as possible
so please wait for me
I am coming for you
from the past to the future
against all of the odds
12.15.2021
do we stab at each other
thirsting for love?
a fresher kind of love,
the lustful look, thrill
of youth, risk, and rich?
in a city of backstabbing,
bats fly about like butterflies
in the dark night sky
luminous with luscious skyscrapers
12.4.2021
head hurts
heart burns
eyes dried
hair reeks
one more day
one more gig
another stretch
another let-down
still,
rise, rise again
drum your beat
march head-high
rise, rise again.
11.30.2021
in that moment, I happened to stare up
towards the brown-bricked wall
painted in plain lemon yellow color
and the orange sunset light
all that refracted light from branches
fell on the wall, silently, and softly.
at that moment, I remembered vaguely
yes, I used to think sentimentally.
I used to smile nostalgically at the
warmth of a mother bird cooing the babies
in her nest, ever so protected from outside
word, so warm and fuzzy and soft and safe —
I almost forgot that previous version of me,
which, I think is only a thought or two away
from now, used to have overflowing feelings.
I — it was at that moment I realized — had
promised myself that I would come back.
that once all these battles incurred by
pesty intruders were finished, I’d come back.
That we would smile, feel easy with trust,
and make jokes whose smile won’t stop
once we were done with just this one job.
but then I saw my hands and they were rusty
they were the hands that tasted the prize.
they were hungry and the would not stop.
everything made sense. everything was logical. everything was justified.
my heart was hallowed with flames of justice.
my spine, thickened with battle scars.
then, alone in the park, when no one wanted
me, I stared at the bricked wall, bouncing off the warm orange sunset light with shades of
bare tree branches,
and I realized:
I used to be soft.
I used to have feelings.
I used to cry for the mother bird.
when I stop, will I ever lay my head again
to the soft songs in the warmth and beauty?
will I be forgiven?
will I know it was worth it at the end?
I walked back from the park
and the darkness fell
but that light in my eyes wouldn’t go away.
perhaps it is the beginning of everything after all.
11.15.2021
a potato on fire rolls down the hill,
in the darkness of night sky, it is a shooting star.
what is there to lose, when we are already losing to ever faster speed of time.
better to rock and roll, bumping into things
and cracking things open, such as your heart,
so that it will shed all the dirty residues
and shine as the purest gem.
it hurts, it’s supposed to hurt.
don’t let go of that grip of your grit
and get on with it. see things for yourself.
good things are out there.
11.13.2021
sitting alone at a round table desk,
emails are answered, schedules are checked,
and apologies and promises are made
on a metal bodied laptop monitor.
business as usual, the only noise in the air
is one from left corner where two people
snickers at something uneavesdropped.
someone coughs, someone shakes their leg.
Tears dropped from yawning.
As if to brush aside the tears,
I scroll down my iPhone mini
to find a single red dot of a notification.
it was the long waited message.
long waited, it had become a hope,
a dream and a legend, and then
a disappointing reality eventually.
So: “oh.”
the moments we dream seem always wetter
than the arid reality we actually meet.
11.6.2021
through the dark sky,
though it burns and rains,
I stretch my arms
I catch my glimpse
one day I’d be there
yes, we’ll be there
let it begin,
our journey to the star
10.29.2021
stranded alone in a dark river,
the moon, pinned high above,
only solaces the ant’s waiting
and hopes for a new beginning.
the ant stretches its six legs
grasping onto ephemeral reflection
of the moon on dark river,
its every breath to save the moon.
standing alone in the dark river
I stare at the ant, whispering words
perhaps as a prayer of some sort.
10.27.2021
unlike movies, unlike novels, unlike commercials,
there aren’t time for silence.
each second testifies against (for) your existence
so I say, take that extra step to go a distance
do not be afraid to be naked
to your own conscious, not others’
for love, for hope, for courage, for faith,
take that extra step towards your goal
10.20.2021
I wrote a text on my phone in my bedroom
I then walked out, climbed up stairs to the roof
and threw my phone as far as I can muster
hoping it will reach my designated audience
perhaps it took couple seconds. ah no.
actually couple hours, maybe couple days
till something hit me on my head (blind spot)
with the same phone but different message
something seem to ooze out
not from my head, but from my gut.
it’s a intoxicating feeling, heart’s pumping
but it ain’t all too bad. maybe a bit better than that.
I wrote a text on my phone,
walked up to the roof,
and threw my phone as hard as I can muster
hoping it reaches the person.
10.14.2021
Ralph with Coffee 
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