it was late at night in a quiet parking lot
near a hotel where friends cheered victories
Walking into the dark to cool my head a little
the coldness of night sobered my head
or rather soaked my head in a strange thing
I walked a tight yellow rope between
falling in a deathly cold pit of loneliness
or falling head over hills into the unknown
When I opened my eyes again
as gracious morning sun shown upon me
as piercing pain squeezed my head
I knew what I had to do.
I took the step into the unknown.
4.28.2022
Tag: hope
Dream
some say, “don’t think about the past”
“you’ll blind yourself to its light
and won’t take a step towards future”
but I’d say, “sing the past”
“sing of its youth, the beauty, the joy,
the tears, the smiles, and the light”
for if you sing enough of its love,
maybe you will move on
maybe you will evolve
maybe you will love again
so, sing the past
embrace the love it sends
spread the love it gifted you
4.16.2022
One Last Time
fuck, I want to see you now
one last time
I don’t know when we all will die
maybe there’s a better perfecter future
but I know I want to see you
yes, I know it must be your own choice
I won’t force it so I am waiting
but fuck, I want to see you now
one last time.
before the Spring goes.
4.11.2022
Phenomena
fascinating things continue to surprise me:
I cannot smell scents nor discern flavors
no more perfumes, fruits, and sweets,
perhaps to do with nervous system, I think
lower back and hip had been aching
left big toe had been tingling
back kidney pain had subsided
yet coughing and congestions persist
head feels like a balloon under water
I wonder what all these mean
fascinating things continue to surprise me
4.11.2022
Reminiscence
warm breeze of Spring air, thank you.
because of your gentle touch in the morning,
I remembered the times I was happy.
times that I had emotions,
times that my spirit was free
times that had I lived, instead of surviving.
I thought, one day, it would come back:
all the joys, glories, and innocence
yet now I stand on trial that could end it all.
No regrets, no matter what others say.
I’m grateful for the memories.
4.8.2022
Covid
finally, you’ve arrived!
I feared your shadows for so long
I am relieved to see you while I’m alive
our meeting will be remembered in songs
yes, I know you are meant to harm me
yet I am glad to meet you finally
now that I have been immunized against you
let me take a closer look at you
so that’s how you wrangle the head
tickle the throat with phlegm
it’s quite fascinating; what you’ve become
but make your leave when your time comes
4.7.2022
Season
t’is the season for ailments
fraught with hope and wonder
t’is the season for lessons
taught with pain and suffer
remember yesterday’s mistakes
ponder upon what’s at stake
4.6.2022
Jalapeño Sauce
a red hot jalapeño sauce I bought for a bet
i tried a drop smeared on a white plate
hm not bad
oh wait
oh shit what is happening
why won’t this stop, this painful burning
wait what if I dip a mozzarella cheese
oh no oh man it does not help does it
ss-hah-ss-hah it is hot and won’t stop
ah-ah ice-cream i want
ah-ah crème-brûlée dans le besoin
4.2.2022
Song For You
caffeine induced insomnia for four nights
woke up, realized now is to start to write
what I felt, what I believed in my heart
before the day gets long to see the star
over the head falls the rain
perhaps explains the pain
one that might not be understood
as those who were not heard would
cry, cry all you want
tomorrow, after the storm, it’ll be calm
3.31.2022
Sunflower
나는 떳떳하게 말 할 수 있다.
이미 버텨 왔고 앞으로도 버틸것이고
나는 내가 옳다고 믿는 것을 지킬것이라고.
부족한 나지만 손가락 하나 움직일 수 있는 한
나는 앞으로 나아갈 거라고.
I can say without a hint of guilt:
I’ve withstood all, and will continue to do so
I’ll defend what I believe to be principles
against all odds, I’ll continue on as long as I can move,
I’ll continue to walk the walk.
3.29.2022
Ralph with Coffee 
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