Race

it’s not enough.
I need more speed.
faster and stronger lines of thoughts.
more decisive and executive resolutions.
it is the way of a light bringer, a trail blazer, a guide.
I hope that serendipitous moment will arrive
allowing me to pierce through this barrier
till then, the race continues.
till the flash of a paradigm shift arrives.

2.21.2023

Humor

I laughed, because it was so sad;
I don’t know how else to deal with it.
bone-crashing depression is an oxymoron
but it hurts real bad, so you laugh to lift it up
it’s truly funny sometimes, how the life goes.
I am just grateful I can laugh with people I love.
I am humbled by their openness to accept my jokes.
that’s where I find the courage
to look forward to the future unknown.

2.17.2023

Stay

at the moment with embrace the full impact:
the pang of shame, regret, guilt, and whatnot;
I know that impulse — impulse to end it all —
but just don’t go yet.

don’t go walking into that darkness yet.

stay a little while.
take a deep breath with me — and
let it go — as naturally as it all should be.

notice the white dots in the dark sky —
shining brightly, traveling across universe —
to meet you at your eyes.

so stay a little while longer.
take it one step at a time.
in time, we’ll get there
and look back at it all and smile.

2.5.2023

Past

sometimes I want to grab my past
and shout: “take me back”
I want to breath the fresh crisp air,
bask under the glistening gold sunlight
I see in my dreams in my dark night
I want to feel the levity of life
as if every day was a surprise playtime
if I see my past self in the mirror
sometimes I want to grab my past
and shout: “take me back”
but it’s the darkness that stares back at me
and I, staring back at the darkness.

2.3.2023