Break

it feels like it’s been awhile
being like this, not pressed
to keep on doing something
for the sake of survival, for approval

perhaps this sickness is blessing in disguise
one I might have had to encounter to realize
a few hidden messages for myself
from my past self perhaps to remind myself
that there are choices in life to be made
fully appreciate the cards you have played

4.15.2022

Short story

I guess it was 15 years ago
I wanted to write a story
adolescent me was feverish with dreams
dreams of passion, adventure, and freedom
now that I think of it,
past 15 years had some of that
maybe, with a bit of luck, I lived my life like
how I wanted to write that story
I am grateful for it, truly
it hurt sometimes,
but it’s been really beautiful.

4.14.2022

Phenomena

fascinating things continue to surprise me:
I cannot smell scents nor discern flavors
no more perfumes, fruits, and sweets,
perhaps to do with nervous system, I think
lower back and hip had been aching
left big toe had been tingling
back kidney pain had subsided
yet coughing and congestions persist
head feels like a balloon under water
I wonder what all these mean
fascinating things continue to surprise me

4.11.2022

Reminiscence

warm breeze of Spring air, thank you.
because of your gentle touch in the morning,
I remembered the times I was happy.
times that I had emotions,
times that my spirit was free
times that had I lived, instead of surviving.

I thought, one day, it would come back:
all the joys, glories, and innocence
yet now I stand on trial that could end it all.

No regrets, no matter what others say.
I’m grateful for the memories.

4.8.2022

Covid

finally, you’ve arrived!
I feared your shadows for so long
I am relieved to see you while I’m alive
our meeting will be remembered in songs

yes, I know you are meant to harm me
yet I am glad to meet you finally
now that I have been immunized against you
let me take a closer look at you

so that’s how you wrangle the head
tickle the throat with phlegm
it’s quite fascinating; what you’ve become
but make your leave when your time comes

4.7.2022

Song For You

caffeine induced insomnia for four nights
woke up, realized now is to start to write
what I felt, what I believed in my heart
before the day gets long to see the star

over the head falls the rain
perhaps explains the pain
one that might not be understood
as those who were not heard would

cry, cry all you want
tomorrow, after the storm, it’ll be calm

3.31.2022

Three, Six

yes, I am quite certain now
the time has accelerated somehow
smiles of warmth washed to six
wild parade of blurry matches to three
only time stamp on an old dee-ess-el-ar
revealed a trick dorment between ears
perhaps a sign to run forward faster
perhaps a sign to cherish things slower
I wave a good-bye to sunset
now I understand how it was meant to be spent
3.25.2022