Brighter

without my coffee,
each hour felt like a year.
I let my mind drift.
As my mind slowly crawled,
I noticed crumbs of memories.
Ones I made mistakes,
ones I felt happier,
ones I hope not to remember.
They all shined brightly,
and my heart was warm.
I let them float into sky,
and wished upon them
to let me live to my fullest.
Then I got back to my deadlines.

1.3.2024

Wrong

regardless of my intention,

in every direction I went,

I was told I was wrong.

That I am the bad guy.

But in quiet silence,

when I peer into myself,

I realized it’s the accumulation

of my neglect, laziness, and carelessness.

So I sat down.

I started to write, draw, and read.

There’s no need to run or fight.

Just fly into your imagination.

1.1.2024

Movie Review: Lightyear

I wouldn’t say it is the best movie, but it is a movie with a message: no one is perfect. Released in 2022, this Disney/Pixar movie brings back our memories of one of the best childhood movies, Toy Story 1 (1995) (and maybe Toy Story 2 (1999), too). Most children who must have watched the Toy Story 1/2 are now in their 30s. And perhaps that is the reason why the movie centers so much around personal ambition vs. family and about forgiving ourselves.

Storyline

The movie centers around Buzz, an elite space explorer who accidentally lands on a strange planet. He tries to find a way to get out of the planet, but each time he tries, everyone else gets much older than he is. In the end, everyone he knew passed away, leaving only him and his weird robot cat. Then, anti-human robots suddenly appear and kidnap everyone into their mothership. He teams up with a kid, an elderly former prisoner, and a lackadaisical dude to take down the ship and get out of the planet.

Characters

Buzz is a 30-something-year-old perfectionist and narcissist. He hates making mistakes and carries the whole world on his shoulders. Ironically, he also makes reckless decisions that jeopardize his close friends. He doggedly seeks to continue his personal ambition of earlier days, only to realize that friends and family come first.

Overall Vibe

It’s hard to tell if this movie is for the jocks or for the nerds. Many action scenes in the movie with toys make you wonder what is real and what is not (is this part of the Toy Story universe?). I resonated with this movie as someone who also seeks doggedly a personal ambition from my past. But I am bothered by the constant angst of failure in the air. There’s bitterness and despair. Yes, it is part of life, and yes, it is good to overcome it, but I sense that the movie could have done better with its mixture of humor, empathy, and actions.

If you are a 30-something-year-old and have a kid who could also enjoy Toy Story movies, go ahead and watch this movie. If you are hurt by your constant setbacks in pursuing your personal ambition, try this one. But if you seek a feel-good movie, turn the other way and look for another Disney movie.

Middle school

In the end, it was just a room.

I sat alone in a dark classroom.

I stretched out my arm out to the window,

through giant curtains that looked like long skirts,

and let the white sunlight shine on my skin.

The shouts, the ruckus, and the chats,

All dissipated into thin air.

All that was left in the end

was this empty room.

So do not be afraid no more.

And forgive yourself.

For this, too, shall pass.

Congratulations,

For having made it so far.

12.31.2023