come, stay and let's talk. it's a good day to be alive
it’s as if every inch of breathing space is
whipped into whirlwinds of flowery fire in
this long narrow path we all must take
when light runs thousands of miles to make
this realization that, perhaps that’s all:
you’ve given it all, and now wait for your call
when darkness had lent its hand to me
I shook its hand
it was as if my bones shattered at mere touch
yet I did not let go.
there is more work to do
there will be a new day
the sun will rise again
there will be more
sometimes, when I get nervous,
I open my window, and let the sunshine through,
filling the room with golden light,
the kind of boulangère warmth that
keep a soul alight
and when I get a chance,
yes, if I do please get the chance,
I would like to share this warmth with another soul
hoping to alight this world a little brighter, softer, cozier.
2.11.2022
in that moment, I happened to stare up
towards the brown-bricked wall
painted in plain lemon yellow color
and the orange sunset light
all that refracted light from branches
fell on the wall, silently, and softly.
at that moment, I remembered vaguely
yes, I used to think sentimentally.
I used to smile nostalgically at the
warmth of a mother bird cooing the babies
in her nest, ever so protected from outside
word, so warm and fuzzy and soft and safe —
I almost forgot that previous version of me,
which, I think is only a thought or two away
from now, used to have overflowing feelings.
I — it was at that moment I realized — had
promised myself that I would come back.
that once all these battles incurred by
pesty intruders were finished, I’d come back.
That we would smile, feel easy with trust,
and make jokes whose smile won’t stop
once we were done with just this one job.
but then I saw my hands and they were rusty
they were the hands that tasted the prize.
they were hungry and the would not stop.
everything made sense. everything was logical. everything was justified.
my heart was hallowed with flames of justice.
my spine, thickened with battle scars.
then, alone in the park, when no one wanted
me, I stared at the bricked wall, bouncing off the warm orange sunset light with shades of
bare tree branches,
and I realized:
I used to be soft.
I used to have feelings.
I used to cry for the mother bird.
when I stop, will I ever lay my head again
to the soft songs in the warmth and beauty?
will I be forgiven?
will I know it was worth it at the end?
I walked back from the park
and the darkness fell
but that light in my eyes wouldn’t go away.
perhaps it is the beginning of everything after all.
11.15.2021
there is something sticky in my feet
it drags along the sidestreet
it’s not the smudges of dog feces
it’s not the dried skin leather of mice
it’s like a second layer of skin on my face
like a large red paint on my countenance
that I cannot see for myself
like a fermented smell that permeates
but did you know,
like a sticky gum in your hair,
there’s a trick to rid of its gloominess
either cut the hair for a new look
or get the ice and freeze it for awhile
bright sunny day isn’t too far away
just look up,
it’s right there.
11.4.2021
어느날 가을 아침이 맑아 보였다.
나도 모르게 컴퓨터 모니터가 앉아 있는
책상 의자에서 일어서 창가에 앉아
맑은 공기를 통해 천공으로서 부터 빛을 쏘는
태양을 바라 보았다.
그리고 서늘한 공기가 피부에 맞닿았다.
순간, 두가지의 문장이 떠올려졌다.
하나는 gen var_cold =.; replace var_cold =1 if var_temp>=46 & var_temp<=60; 이었고
다른 하나는 ‘이 차가움은 부드럽고도 쏘는듯 날카로우며 반갑고도 그리운 차가움이구나’ 이었다.
무심히 바라보던 태양 아래 그대를 떠올렸다. 그대의 따뜻함이 더욱이나 생각하는 하루이었다.
10.28.2021
at one point, I forgot how fast I was running
time flew by, I just work my legs to fly
I opened my eye, realized I stopped breathing
with ease, just gasps at a time
flash of memories, bright light in the sky
warm shine from the sun, it could’ve been fun
just waiting, yes the waiting, for days to come
there will be smile, there will be warmth, there will be hope.
10.25.2021
Cigarette, a cancerous stick, has ceased
to be in my grocery list, for I cherish this breeze
freshly squeezed out of green tree leaves.
Bittersweet it is though this is where it’s been
the last greeting of sweet sigh breathed and dreamed
as crimson yolk of sun set over the horizon of youthful steam.
6.26.2020
It’s so warm
When without a warning,
the sun rises,
So innocently,
After dark and cold storm has passed by.
As if all the bad things has been a lie.
It’s so warm
Sometimes I wonder
If it will stay for a little longer.
6.13.2020
Give everything you can.
And when there’s nothing to give anymore, give all you’ve got.
Then you’ll be free.
Free from yourself.
5.14.2020
Thank you, for allowing me to see this day light, a stream of crystals glistening the atmosphere that I breath in.
That you, for allowing me to memorize the sound of the wind swooshing like an ocean wave crashing into the bank of sand.
Thank you, for this tantalizing droplet of water, respite of the spirit and body, as it quenches the unresting soul in the heart.
5.13.2020
Ralph with Coffee 
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