J

Did we love?
I’d say we did. 
When you brought me into your home
and gave me a bowl of dumpling soup 
and a bottle of vinegar,
I found myself submerged 
in the kaleidoscope of your world
and only after I had reemerged 
I knew it was love.

in your absence — as the knowledge you were gone had begun to settle —
I discovered a cruel determination
was the only reason I bring myself to the world in the morning. 
Inflamed in self-hatred, 
I grinded my way forward, or
stupefying my eyes to escape. 

Now I realize
I had not yet to thank you. 
Thank you for bearing with me. 
For your bare honesty and trust in me
had allowed me to know
I could be accepted, trusted, and loved. 

I felt alive, perhaps for the first time. 
For that, I am grateful to you. 

4.24.2026