Scene 7

I walked along the lake of emerald color
out of a jungle of tall grey cement buildings
on street so long that seemed to have no end
but I finally arrived at a flat aquarium
passing by taxidermy of mammoths
that reminded me of American beef
hamburgers I had beforehand
to the plastic wall of pool of emerald color
where white beluga whales swam solemnly
I remember the whales
because I was expecting giant blue whales instead

4.24.2022

4.24.2022

Scene 5

I was sitting in a large old library
High ceiling, large space with cubicles,
had windows viewing out into the riverside
I often walked down the stairs
to buy chewing candy from a shop below
It was not too long after I had quit smoking
I spent uncountable hours in the library
perhaps that’s where I fell into the rabbit hole
the desperate race that never seems to end

4.22.2022

Dream

some say, “don’t think about the past”
“you’ll blind yourself to its light
and won’t take a step towards future”
but I’d say, “sing the past”
“sing of its youth, the beauty, the joy,
the tears, the smiles, and the light”


for if you sing enough of its love,
maybe you will move on
maybe you will evolve
maybe you will love again

so, sing the past
embrace the love it sends
spread the love it gifted you

4.16.2022

Break

it feels like it’s been awhile
being like this, not pressed
to keep on doing something
for the sake of survival, for approval

perhaps this sickness is blessing in disguise
one I might have had to encounter to realize
a few hidden messages for myself
from my past self perhaps to remind myself
that there are choices in life to be made
fully appreciate the cards you have played

4.15.2022

Short story

I guess it was 15 years ago
I wanted to write a story
adolescent me was feverish with dreams
dreams of passion, adventure, and freedom
now that I think of it,
past 15 years had some of that
maybe, with a bit of luck, I lived my life like
how I wanted to write that story
I am grateful for it, truly
it hurt sometimes,
but it’s been really beautiful.

4.14.2022

Phenomena

fascinating things continue to surprise me:
I cannot smell scents nor discern flavors
no more perfumes, fruits, and sweets,
perhaps to do with nervous system, I think
lower back and hip had been aching
left big toe had been tingling
back kidney pain had subsided
yet coughing and congestions persist
head feels like a balloon under water
I wonder what all these mean
fascinating things continue to surprise me

4.11.2022

Reminiscence

warm breeze of Spring air, thank you.
because of your gentle touch in the morning,
I remembered the times I was happy.
times that I had emotions,
times that my spirit was free
times that had I lived, instead of surviving.

I thought, one day, it would come back:
all the joys, glories, and innocence
yet now I stand on trial that could end it all.

No regrets, no matter what others say.
I’m grateful for the memories.

4.8.2022

Covid

finally, you’ve arrived!
I feared your shadows for so long
I am relieved to see you while I’m alive
our meeting will be remembered in songs

yes, I know you are meant to harm me
yet I am glad to meet you finally
now that I have been immunized against you
let me take a closer look at you

so that’s how you wrangle the head
tickle the throat with phlegm
it’s quite fascinating; what you’ve become
but make your leave when your time comes

4.7.2022

Song For You

caffeine induced insomnia for four nights
woke up, realized now is to start to write
what I felt, what I believed in my heart
before the day gets long to see the star

over the head falls the rain
perhaps explains the pain
one that might not be understood
as those who were not heard would

cry, cry all you want
tomorrow, after the storm, it’ll be calm

3.31.2022